Jas' Sh!n!nG Te3tH "wink wink"

Just came back to my room. Met my hostel neighbour, Robin. lol.. After its near end of sem only we started talkin to each other and know each other's name. lol.. Tonight I got a sms which I have been longing for. Hahaha.. Sms from my zhi mui. She said she brace her teeth lo. Shining now. lol..!! Really want to know how she look which that brace on. lol.. Shining teeth. haha.. Don't know what partern of brace she chose. Diamond-like bracer?? hahaha.. Anyway glad she is doing fine there though her busy period just started. My buys period just ended but final is coming. lol.. I guess no difference. "Polish your bracer a Jas.. Keep it shining. lol!! @@" KI SIAO..!!

Uncertainty & Earth Hour

This morning I had my breakfast with one of my close friends, Jia Yin. We were from the same primary school but only came to know each other during form 3 when she became my vanmate. At first we kind of quarrel sometimes. Course in van, we guys tend to disturb some girls. haha.. But then we became close friends since form 4. Forgot since when, we started to ask each other out for breakfast on Sunday-only on Sunday. That time there were 3 of us, Jia Yin, Yen Tink and I. Yen Tink was just staying very near to my house, just behind. But ever since Yen Tink moved to damansara and it is not convenient for her to travel down here, only left Jia Yin and me. I remember the first time, we 3 went to eat dim sum in our housing area. We were like old folks. Uncle and aunties drinking chinese tea, eating dim sum. We were the youngest in the coffee shop. Zzz.. I still remember Jia Yin accidentally dropped a 'Siu Mai' into her chinese tea. lol.. It was so fun. Old times. Now only left 2.

When I'm home I wrote a post about the uncertainty of friendship that I've been having all this while. It was a shitty post. After talking about it with Amanda, I decided not to post it. I just finished watching the final episode of Gundam 00. The end was so saddening. The anime is mainly about a group of people sacrificed themselves for entire world peace. The 2nd season is coming up next week. Hope it is not as saddening as the 1st season. Oh well, I slept a lot this whole day. lol.. I read about a news just now. Yesterday, people around the world switch off lights anywhere for an hour by the time "Earth Hour" to show concern to global warming. I think it didn't happened here. lol.. Last year it first started in Sydney alone. This year, many countries or states have signed up to participate. Everyone had their candle-light dinner. Imagine whole KL was doing that. Candles everywhere. Pedestrains holding candles.. Beach filled with candles.. In other ways, it is romantic. lol.. what a scene. Hope next year it will happen here. For my friends in Miri, imagine two sides of the road of Villa being lit by candles. lol..I'm sure it will be a nice view. Have a good day tomorrow.

What's Life?

Just finished dinner. lol.. Today I just watch HongKong Drama on Astro On Demand Channel (D.I.E) Funny. hahaha.. After that at about 6pm. I took a nap until around 10pm. Then dinner. Last few weeks when my brother went to dentist as he need to brace his teeth, he took a X-ray. The X-ray film shows that there is a tooth inside the gum which is not grown out. The details I don't really know as it is a complicated one. lol.. Anyway, this happened to my elder sister few years ago but her case was different. It is not just a tooth that is inside her gum, but a lot...of tiny little teeth. She went through operation to take all out. The amount of teeth taken out was about 30 tiny teeth. Horrible. This time my brother went to the specialist who treated my sis for checking and consultation. It was confirmed and he said that this may be hereditary. For this reason, my father made an appointment for me. To check with him if I got the same situation or not. OMG.. Come on.. The dentist whom we went for checking for so many many years always say my teeth is the best among my brother and sister. How can I have the same situation like them? Zzz.. Don't joke with me la. Come on.. I just wouldn't accept IF I really ... Touch wood touch wood. Zzzz.. Fine.. Check ma check lo!! Zzz.. Haiz.. Why life is so.. unpredictable huh.. Though same can be predicted. haiz.. Just finish most of my assignments now come this stupid check up that I have to worry about. Why isn't there a week or a month or a year when I don't have to worry about anything? Zzz.. When I was still a primary school boy, I wonder where is Heaven and Hell. When people explore the space why didn't there see Heaven? When people dig the ground, why didn't there see Hell? Where are these 2 places? I wish to see. Seriously. lol.. It sounds crazy or idiotic, but, seriously I would like to know. I have heard about a story where she(my primary teacher) actually died, really died, and the body was already stored in the morgue. She said that after she died she everything around her is dark until she saw lights from a sort of door or entrance. It is as if the light is asking her to follow it. That was the only way she could walk to. As she walks, a voice suddenly sounded to her ears, asking her not to follow the light, it is a trap. She was nervous and didn't know what to do. So she just stopped. Out of a sudden, a force pulled her away from where she was standing. The next thing she know was that she opened her eyes and saw that she was in a box. In those days, they keep corpse in sort of a drawer thing I don't know what is it called. We usually see it on TV one leh.. lol.. Anyway.. She screamed for help until someone draws the storage out and saw that she was alive. Hmm.. I was shocked that she actually experienced it. lol.. It is not just from her I heard from, from many of my teachers, stories of other people. Strange or miracle things do happen to us. I just wish I could witness every one with my own eyes.. Thats why I like to watch Ripley's Believe It Or Not. lol.. But now I don't see any of his show on TV. Honestly, I do think that some of those are fake or made up. lol.. Some only.. lol.. Well.. Life.. Can say its unique, challenging, adventurous.. Can say its complicated, troublesome, unpredictable.. You list it.

Assignments Mostly Cleared!! But Final Coming><

At last I've finished most of my assignments and all presentations. Today I had my last presentation. The first was easy but today's presention was a bit hard. I was so nervous-but compared to most of the time when I will shiver like I'm in the North Pole during presentation, this time I didn't shiver. The lecturer limited our slides to 7-10. But my group's slide has 26 ><. Exceeded almost 3 times of limited slides. We were asked to cut short our presentation as there was not enough time. The class was actually from 8am-9am. The first two presentation has already taken up much time. The second presentation ended at 9.10am. Suppose we have another class at 9am but the lecturer was on MC so we get to carry on until 10am. My group was the third. >< So wished we didn' have our leturer on MC so that we could present next week and in the meantime reduce our slides. We didn't have much time to reduce before the presentation. Our research and information and the things to talk about is too much. Our topic is Computer Privacy, Crime and Security. It is like 3 topic in 1. How possible could we make all these 3 into 1? and the time for us to talk is like 5-10 mins. Time is not a matter, but slides. Omg.. Unless we put each topic 2 slides. How possible? And the words cant be too small. Need at least the size of 24. Omg.. When the lecturer ask me to hurry up, I just burst out whatever I know accordingly without depending on the slides for information. Just for the header and body I just burst out. Zzzz.. The presentation didn't turn out to be what I expected. Haiz.. After class, one of my classmates which her another occupation is also a LECTURER, told me that I was knowledgable. I just replied with a silly smile:" I was very nervous." She said there is nothing to be nervous of. Come on.. Your a lecturer man.. Some more I don't know half of the class as our class combined with business students. zzz.. Then I went to join my classmates, coursemates, for lunch. From far I could see all of them laughing at me. Why.. The answer is so shocking and OMG. All of them shouted in front of SO FREAKING LOT PEOPLE :" KENNY!! YOU ARE SO CUTE!!" We were at the sort of sidewalk cafe and it is break time for most students. They shouted that out in those kinda place. OMG.. During the presentation, before my turn, I was nervous till I keep smiling and laughing like a jerk.. When I'm presenting I also did that. But slowly after things started to heat up and I started to talk smoothly, I stopped laughing. Haiz.. Well.. Though it was not what I expected, but I could see that I've improved a bit. No more shivering. haha..The lecturer didn't comment whether it is good or bad. I think should be average ba? Hope so hope so.. Aiks.. with assignments mostly done, about 2 more weeks then FINALS!!

Math Test~

Yesterday I had my math test. Wow.. It was not as hard as I thought. haha.. hard questions weren't set in the paper. thank God. I think and hope I can get full score man.. The lecturer is very good. When I wanted to hand in my papers, she look through it. Everything is ok. but the last question, I used a different matter to solve it, she was wondering it that was correct or not. After awhile she say it should be correct. But I didn't want to risk so I took back the paper and follow the same old format. hahahaha.. She is very kind and friendly to us.. Nice lecturer. haha.. Pretty and kinda young too. hahaha.. Well.. Gtg sleep..

Ironic >< & Sorry Anthon!!

Last night I crazy again. Dota till around 4am. zzz.. On Monday.. Suppose there is an assignment due. I still left a bit. Before class I rush rush rush to complete it. 40pages, about 8k of words. Cool? hahaha.. At the end I was late for an hour. I wasn't afraid that the lecturer would scold as she is very kind. haha.. Once I knocked the door and enter, she say :"eh come here and take your test paper. You have the highest score." I was so shocked and thought she was being sarcastic as her emotion was good. I thought she meant I was the worst. Being stone for few seconds, I didn't even take the test paper from her. I stared at the paper. lol.. She then contined:"though you have the highest score, but it is not good." Then only i know why. Out of about 32 students, only 6 passed. Zzzz... I was very happy though the result is not that good. The sentence"you got the highest score" at least make me feel happy. lol.. paiseh to say that. hahaha.. After the discussion, a girl went out and say the lecturer added her marks wrongly. OMG!! She has the highest score now. I'm second. What the dut.. lol.. I lose to her 5 marks. Kanasai.. What a joke.. Nevermind, I will win her in final!! Hmph!! Tomorrow math test again. I'm gonna get full score!! 'Cos during last test i did really stupid mistake.. Minus I put add.. Self confidence too high that time. Zzz.. Wish me luck!! And hope I don't make stupid stupid mistakes again. Zzz.. today jasmine went to dentist. Don't know how is she.. Worries.. Miss.. woowoo.. hahahaha.. Oh ya.. Just now,which is about half an hour ago, when I was going to have dinner with my friend Anthonius. I told him there will be a test tomorrow. I shouldn't have said that as he kept it from his girlfriend as to not worry her. My bad mouth..zzz.. then they end up quarrelling. Omg.. Both of them are indonesion, so I don't 100% understand what are they saying, but he told me that it is not about the exam, and asked me not to worry about it, its not my fault. haiz.. but i was the one who made this happened.. If I hadn't told you about it.. Sorry Anthon..!! Haiz.. But I think both of them are ok cos his gf sms-ed me and say not to worry about it. Phew.. Hope both of them really ok ler.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MISS CHAN

Today my first class is math as usual. Everything was as usual until before we were dismissed, the lecturer asked us to stay back for class photos. We were wondering why. Our last class is next week. How come suddenyl she want to take pictures with us? We kept questioning her. But she say she just want to take pictures with us. Hmm.. Anyway we just follow what she said. We took the first picture and we switch the cameraman. Suddenly miss shouted:"(she only know my actual name instead of 'Kenny') wai leong, make sure I can see your face a!" ><><" She just say :" I cant call your name isit." Swt.. I'm speechless.. One of my friends said, she sayang me. I was hmm... Good hor.. Lecturer sayang me. hahaha.. Anyway, main point, after the class photos, she finally told us why. It her BIRTHDAY!! omg.. She finally stepped into 30s. lol.. We all wished her happy birthday and sang the song.. When it came to "happy birthday to (name)", many of urs didn't know how to continue. lol.. Only the retake-student know. Paiseh.. Miss Chan.. haha.. HAPPT BIRTHDAY MISS CHAN.

Happy Easter Day!!

Ah.. Just finished reading Naruto manga. Waiting for the next episode. haha.. "Last night" I had my hair cut. Zzz.. Parents wanted me to change my hairstyle. They say it looks like a bunch of grass. Zzz.. It is only because I lazy to style my hair la. Zzz.. Father asked bos of the saloon we always go for hair cut to see what kind of hairstyle suits me. Zzzz.. What other hairstyle could have suited me? Zzz.. with the quality or kind of my hair, I only can have short hairstyle. Zzz.. Anyway, the so called new hairstyle is just the normal hairstyle I use to have, just that this time is shorter. My stylist purposely wax my hair so that it looks short. lol.. Instead of making my hair stand, he made my hair 'sleep'. We laughed at my 'new' hairstyle all along. hahaha.. Funny guy thats what he is. After dinner, on my way home, jam.. For 1 hour. Zzz.. Everyone is crowding KL for F1, sort of exhibition. F1 car bla bla bla. Some more there is KL grand prix. Swt.. Waste my time getting stuck in the crowd. I also saw 'ah kua(s)' with super mini skirt walking around showing their 'boobs' and ass. Gosh.. (No offence and I'm not looking down on anyone okie.. don get me wrong. haha..) Seriously.. Haiz.. Have to get to my assignments now. Happy Easter Day ^^v God Bless..

Sickening World @@

Last night I chatted with one of my angels. Same problem. Haiz.. Whenever she says how she wished I were there makes my heart ache. Why is it so hard for me to be there for those who needed me. She cried again today. haiz.. After about an hour of conversation, I manage to knock some sense into her. Hopefully she will think about it and be alright soon. There wasn't much I can help. Its all depended on herself.

During yesterday's class, teacher discussed with us about the assignment which is due on next monday. It is a 3 in 1 group assignment. However my group, is the only group which has 2. hahaha.. Anway, about a month ago when we were given the assignment, one student was looking for a group to join in. He ask the lecturer which group has only two members. So the lecturer pointed us, my friend and I to him. He agreed to the lecturer that he would join our group and contribute. He doesn't come to class at all. Only during test, which was held last 2 weeks ago, he attended. The lecturer asked him about the assignment progression, he said it was good and he contributed. Until yesterday, when the lecturer ask my friend and I about the assignment, and we told her that we are handicap as we only have 2 person in a group, then only we found out that the guy was lying all this while. We didn't even know that person actually existed. The lecturer appologised to us for she scolded us for giving the excuse of having a handicap. She thought the guy joined our group and contributed. Now the guy is in deeeeeeeeeep trouble.. We were lucky that we found that out last minute. Phew..

This world has many sickening incidents which is human themselves' doing. Jasmine told me about a clip which was posted by JOEP in her blog. The clip is about child abuse. A MTV of "Concrete Angel" by Martini McBride. It is a touching song. The MTV is very touching too. Watching the clip makes me think of the book which I read before, Chicken Soup. I actually sobbed when reading. Zzz.. Early and unplanned marriage caused all these to happened. Youngsters mostly, they only manage to love their partners and not their own new-borned flesh. Saddening.

God, Please Bless These Children..

STRESS!! Holiday!!!

Suppose I've a presentation today, but the class was postponed. Luckily my friend called and tell me. I was stepping out of my room when he called. So today I only have a math class from 2 to 4. new chapter, so freaking confusing at the end. At first it was easy, then become more and more confusing. I almost had myself burst out in front of my friends for he kept asking me how to do the previous questions when I was thinking how to do the confusing equation. Phew.. After class I'm still on fire, I went to have my lunch alone so that I could settle down myself. So stress these few weeks. Next week got 2 presentations, 3 assignments and 1 test to settle. zzzz.. God.. Just now after bathing, I was going to brush my teeth. Guess what, instead of taking the toothpaste, I took my shampoo and nearly squeeze some on my toothbrush. Zzzz..... I want holiday!! Probably if can, teleport me to Miri. hahaha.. Oh ya hor, tomorrow is holiday!! Yeah!! Sleep whole day!!! ^^v

Bye Kei & Who @m I??

Wah.. Looked back at my previous posts, I've not been writting posts for so so long.. Better write what I remember. zz.. After CNY I came to know that my buddy who is a Japenese was leaving for Australia to study. He didn't know what course he would be taking as it was his father's idea to send him there. Swt.. Before he left, I go to Subang right after my class to meet him and play dota from the time I arrive, usually evening before 6 until next morning. lol.. Crazy right? What to do, I wanted to spend whatever time I have with him. I don't know when he is coming back. Some does him. I've been doing this - going Subang and back to Nilai early in the morning, for few weeks until most of my classmates know. lol.. 'casue the next morning I'd be late for class. hahaha.. Dota addict.. During that few weeks I've learnt that he has lots of good friends. On that day he left, 4 of his friends including me, went to KLIA to see him off. Even after he passed the immigration check point, all of us, of course including his parents, chase after him on the path where we could see him. We grab every second we could. On our way home, 4 gays keep saying how much we miss him. All of us still holding our handphone, sms-ing. Poor Kei have to reply all of us. lol.. Even though no one cried, but I could see that they were holding it. I admit I wanted to cry too.. =x haiz.. We were like his parents, wonder if he could take care of himself or not, 'cause he eats a lot.. A lot~~ yet still thin. (like me) lol.. sometimes his friends even mistaken I were him. hahaha.. Haiz.. Soyanara Kei!! Gambateh over there.. What else.. hmm.. oh ya.. assignments still a lot.. zz.. 3 assignments 2 presentation 1 test.. all within 2 weeks. After that prepare for final exams which is on mid of April. zzz.. God.. Wonder how is Jasmine now. haha.. Sometimes I don't know what kind of person am I. Can be very talkative also can be very quiet at the same time. Just like last night, my friend asked me out for dinner. When I saw him with a lot of friends together, I stopped and wondered. I don't know I should join them or not. I feel shy =.= Last time I had dinner with them, I was very very quiet. Zzzz.. Seriously don't understand myself. Hope there is someone who can understand me for me. lol!!! What the crap am I talking about..

Jasmine, Piece of My Heart

I've left her,
I no longer see her face, her laughter,
the way she say her prayer,
everything about her..

I no longer can take care of her,
walk her back to her shelter,

I longer can comfort her, protect her,
feel the great massage of her..

Everything that I used to do with her,
no longer can be done together.
I've left her.

I've went through a great, memorable 4 months with someone who has never in my life, been so close to me in such a short period of time.
Young outside, old inside.. Looks can deceive people. It happened to me, to everyone around her. 1 year elder than me, but look much younger than her actual age. Looks can deceive people. Her looks deceives people.
Going crazy about her idol, JOEP, she sometimes make me think that she is les.. But everything she does for this idol, impresses me.
Being laud outside, quiet inside, she keeps things to herself. She does that most of the times.. Jasmine is whom I'm dedicating this post to.

From someone whom I didn't know until we celebrated our success in our performance, Jasmine became piece of my heart. You might not believe that, 'cause it also took me some time to realise that. From normal friends, we (Jasmine, Keng Leong and I) have became close friends whom we call ourselves 'Zhi Mui' Sounds 'GAY' to Keng Leong and I, but what to do, she is the only girl. We can't say 'xiong di'.... makes her a tomboy. haha.. Well.. at first I wasn't that close to her even though we have became zhi mui. But I still remember when we cycled late at night to Jennifer's house together which is so darn far to celebrate Jennifer's birthday. It was my idea though ><>< Ever since then, I've started to get to know Jasmine more. 3 of us were becoming more like zhi mui(s).

Soon, Keng Leong found himself a girlfriend, didn't even tell both Jasmine and I. Can't blame him, he is in engineering degree, the time with us was not enough for us to be together for too long. But in Keng Leong's heart he still care for us. Since then, only left Jasmine and me.

Liquor brings us together. I remember the first time when 3 of us drink together, we messed things up. I started it 1st by throwing out in Keng Leong's room. lol.. Paiseh.. Later, Jasmine's turn. hahaha.. Ever since that day, liquor has brought us together when we are sad. We started telling each other problems. This practise was then done by only Jasmine and me. Keng Leong was very busy. We drove out to town and have our drinks in a pub. The last time was we bought a cheap liquor and drink in the house. All these happenings were kind of dislike by someone.. haha.. But it didn't affect us. During study week and exam week, I've been with Jasmine everyday, maybe 'cause I got the feeling that I was going to leave her soon so I spent any time I could have with her. I'm glad I did that.

Personally, I feel that the relation between Jasmine and I, Erm.. unique. haha.. Seriously I don't know how to put it in words. I'm easily influenced by her. lol.. Really don't know how to say. hahaha.. During her birthday, all of us gave her a surprise. That time I really squeezed my brain juice to think of one. I did, but something went wrong. Nevermind though.. its over.. As long as she felt the love of everyone and the day come out to be special to her, the rest doesn't matter at all. That night, something surprising and special happened. lol.. She exchanged a "present" with me. So does Keng Leong. That night was not only special to her, but for me too.

Ever since I left Miri, I've been thinking about the day I finally get the chance to meet her. I've been dreaming and dreaming.. and if that really happened, I'd hug her tight.

Things might change in future, but there are things that will never change and be forgotten, the one who is always in my heart, Jasmine.. and the love..^^

Bracer & Sparring Feel

haha.. today Jasmine had an appointment with her dentist at 9am. She had to take off her teeth for bracing. Pity.. she will not be able to eat for months after bracing. Only can take in liquid formed foods like porridge. Aiyo.. I wished I was there for her. haha.. Talking about being there for someone, there is someone who need it more. One of my church angels. She had a bad day. haiz.. She hoped I was there for her and so do I. Haiz.. Hope she will be fine soon. I had a sparring competition yesterday night. I lost but I was very happy. Didn't train for 2 years and went for competition without any training. Cant hope for more in winning. My match was the fourth match. Each match took a minute. The 1 minute made me think back a lot of things. Wonderful things. That match served its purpose. And I'm glad of that. After the match I went to my friend's house to finish up the assignment which is due today but was postponed. At 2.28am, we went out for supper. I met my opponent. He is the assistant of instructor. We chatted. He say it was a great match. The referee told me the same thing too. He said it was a tight match as I just lost 1 point to him. I was happy. He could see that I didn't train for a long time. I was very surprised he could see that out. He also said that my legs were still very powerful, and if I've trained before the match, the result would have been different. haha.. I was very happy. Few of my friends also said so. Go for match without training is wrong. haha.. but my main reason to join the competition is to seek back the old feelings I had for sparring. Of course I hoped I would win, but it really didn't matter. I still love sparring a lot.. Fight for your dreams and life is what I like to do. lol.. bullshit.. =x

Promises Kept..

I was suppose to do web design with Jasmine when I'm back to Miri. I was suppose to promise her that, but knowing that I'm not returning to her, I didn't. But I still wanted to help her. So I bought a web design bible for her. I hand it over to Jerry when he came to KL last Thurday. He handed it over to Jasmine together with the other things. Jasmine was very surprised when she received the book she asked me to buy and the web design bible. It is the least I can do to help her on web design. It seems that I owe her a lot of things. Everday I've been dreaming about going back to Miri, having dinner with all my friends, fetching everyone to town, fetching lazy pigs who are late for class to campus.... All these, can't be done anymore, for my friends in Miri. The most which I wanted to do the most is, being there for Jasmine.

SORRY JASMINE!!

These few days I've been in fear when my phone rings. I was afraid that it is a call or a sms from Jasmine. I was afraid of her knowing the truth already. The day came at last, she sms-ed me in the morning, asking is it true that I'm not going back to Miri already. I knew that rumours have been around ever since the degree class started which is a week ago. I couldn't keep it away from her anymore. So I just had to tell her everything already. I told her that I'd talk to her at night. Soon, the letters I wrote for some of my friends before I left Miri were given out to each of them during the dinner by Joseph. At 8.57pm, Jasmine sms-ed me, telling me that she had received the letter. It is so hard breaking..till now.. it still.. She actually waited for me to come back. It was very hard for her to receive the letter. It was a hard night. I called her to talk to her, and in the meantime, I want to listen to the voice that I can only hear from the phone for as long as it takes. She kinda blame me why have I kept it from her. haiz.. The closer the person is to me, the harder for me to tell.. What more when it comes to Jasmine. She actually teared when reading the letters, it makes my heart ache.. Haiz.. I'm sorry Jasmine.. There were so many things that she wanted to tell me when I'm back to Miri, many things to share with me, and wanted to know how much have I changed, so do I. Now, all these can only be done through wires. But she want to tell me in person, face to face.. It makes my heart so ache!!! I'm SORRY JASMINE!! I LOVE YOU! MISS YOU SO MUCH!!